By Punkerslut
A Whisper to a Friend
By Punkerslut
It seemed improbable that I would come to be their ally. He wasarrogant but intelligent, vulgar but precise. In his character,there were to be found the vices that I once exhibiting yearsago. As I tried with focus to eliminate these attributes inmyself, I tried to develop my complimentary traits. I believedthat the greatest social change that can come to a society willcome from those who are patient, willing, and intelligent. Noadvancement of civilization can come when the rabble rousers areblindfolded, when the people become moths, following whereverthe light goes. This man and I, we hardly ever mingled, until agreat deal of time had passed. He had known of me, and I hadknown of him. We both had the same interests, the same desirefor a society that did not abuse its animals, for a socialconstruct that did not set up the exploitation of laborers. Butthen the occasion would have for it that we would meet andexchange our thoughts. One of the finest moments of our lives,we confided in each other, was when we realized the brutality,the insane logic and reasoning which had been used to justifythe greatest cruelties, the vicious and savaged nature of oursociety -- and both of us, upon learning this for ourselves,immediately had given up such practises of brutality.
It is, odd, indeed, that we may differ as a pair from a greatdeal of society. Becoming Vegetarians at the first knowledge ofthis inhumane slaughter of animals, we were both glad that wehad found this immutable truth. Another person from society hadonce commented on this, saying, "If I didn't know it was wrongto steal from people, I would have more joy in my exploits thana man who knew it was wrong, who may not enjoy it at all. So,how is it that you can be happy at discovering something thatprevents you from pleasure?" To this, I remarked, "Besides thefact that I am sharing in the honor, the virtue, and theprivilege, of being among the few to start a world widerevolution on behalf of all those who are oppressed -- besidesthe fact that I may be a faceless member in a crowd ofindividuals constantly, relentlessly working for those who maysuffer as we do -- besides this one fact, the pleasure and prideof being a Vegetarian come from finding truth in a worldobsessed with rhetoric and propaganda, finding one strand ofcloth in the quilt of philosophy, discovering an understandingof all beings, when the world wars with itself with confusion."This person, looking somewhat impressed at my response, turnedto my friend for an answer. He responded, "Why am I glad thatI'm a Vegetarian? Because I'm not a fuckwitz."
Slowly, as we became good friends, the demeanor in which heportrayed himself to me became something foreign to how heanswered his critics, or how he even answered strangers. Yet,it's not like that just with him. Every person has a naturalbarrier that they keep up between themselves and those they arenot familiar with. Some people will not smile or laugh unless inthe company of close friends, others will never give a genuinestatement unless they are among familiar faces. This friend ofmine, just another nameless man among a group of disenchantedreformers, was among those people whose emotions never left theinside unless with his mates. I had seen him debate, and thespectacle almost looked like a mass of uncivilized arguments,but among those people, I had not seen him laugh, or smile, orcry. But when we would sit side by side as friends, each eatinga tomatoe and lettuce sandwich on toast, he would share with mehis thoughts and feelings, things which he always had to hide.He is not the only one to engage in this habit, and it would bea rare find to discover a person who did not do the same. He wasafraid, mostly, that if he said exactly what he felt on theinside, that someone could use it to hurt him. It is how we allfeel: receptive to being honest about ourselves, because we areall scared to death of rejection. This may, indeed, be a way ofunderstanding emotions, in particular anger. When this friend ofmine spoke, and used every negative word in his own and the nextman's dictionary, he spoke from inside a bubble, becauseafterwards, he would be able to sit down and have a drink, asthese debates never reached him on the inside. And when he spoketo me, it was outside of this imaginary building, where he couldsmile and look at nature's beauty, without fear of criticism ofany sort. I never told him what I saw here.
The day finally came, where the winds of change were at ourbacks, and my comrade had to take leave. We shook hands, and Itold him, "It was good to get to know you, friend." And squeazedhis palm back, saying, "And it was good to find one decent manamong a bunch of redneck fucks." He left, and I saw him walking.Sitting on my piece of sidewalk, I watched him make every step.He never looked back.
This was but a few months ago. I believe, in all sincerity,that I am a greater man because of my encounter with thisfriend, and an even greater one still for becoming his ally. Asthese days pass, every effort transforming into strength addedto the movement, every dream of my lovers and friends of pastjust another reason to stand up taller, stronger; as thesemoments pass like currents in the ocean, the meaning of my lifehas only be strengthed by those faces who come into and leave mylife. The memories of happiness just become a collage of peoplewho have influenced me. The first female to hold me close andconfess her emotions, the first male to recite his poetry aboutcivilization to me -- these men and women who have beenobligated to move, to travel, to keep going in whateverdirection that calls them. I find myself with friends, always incirculation, but always left with the times we had together,those experiences that strengthened our comradery, our courage.As we open up to each other, we know that the person we areloving today, may very well just be another a million miles fromus tomorrow, in a crowd of strangers. My friends, travelling theglobe, I wish I could be with you all at all times and at allplaces, but such a realization is both an ultimate heaven and anultimate impossibility. Every wish for a perfected society comeswith a desire to be among men and women of good humor, ofcharity, of decency, of good reason and generosity. Today,though, every action that I commit on behalf of some oppressedclass, it is done with the pride of the individuals I have met,who are sacrificing themselves everyday for something that maynot be realized except in centuries to come. Every momentdedicated to relaxing, is done ultimately, with the thought ofthem fighting, in my mind... And as I toss and turn, fightingthe mad confusion of an adversary, I never let up, because Ihave not forgotten -- what I do today, is a whisper to a friend.
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